It's so bloody hot this time of the year! I can't bloody sleep! Before, I always close my windows at night because I didn't want to get cold, but nowadays, I can't sleep without the windows open. I don't bloody care about the numerous insects that could come inside my room - as there are a number of plants outside my windows - I just want the night air to come in and cool me off.

As another way to cool off, I find it refreshing to use ice cubes on my face and neck; they really do the job of releasing the heat. After that, I don't feel as sticky.

That and taking a shower about 3 times a day. So, alright, I haven't done that, yet, but it sure is becoming quite a, attractive option. Wonder if my clothes will last though. I only have a few items of clothes, not a full closet even, and I'm sharing closet space with my bitch of a sister.

Okay, change topic before I ruin this wonderful mood of mine.

Wait, though, it's not like my moods have to depend on her. I'll just have to ignore her and get on with my life.

Right, excellent notion.


So... hmm... was thinking... I do want to work, right? And I want to get on with my Graduate Studies, right? So I was thinking, either I find a school in Japan, or, Great Britain.

Australia just doesn't work for me, and the U.S. of A? No thanks.

Wonder which school has a good Linguistics program? Though I'll take any Study program they have that I find interesting. Which shouldn't be too hard as I find almost everything interesting.


Oh cool, no Daniel Alan Radcliffe yet.


So back to what I was thinking about. I find everything interesting, I guess that's why some people call me the Jill of all trades. I know a little bit of everything. Maybe that's why I'm finding it difficult to specialize on something specific. But I have to, as that's the only way to get by in this world these days. Specialization is the way to go.

What do I want to specialize in anyway?

Maybe scriptwriting? Directing, producing, I don't want to contemplate on that, as I don't think I can translate my vision into concrete words and actions... as yet... Anything on the arts, as long as it's not in front of the audience. Even if it's an audience of one, I get stage fright. Not to say I haven't acted before. I've been in a number of small class productions (note that it's not school productions, which I have been involved in but as part of the Fine Arts Club making and moving the props) - roles I've been in usually involve being the queen or the mother role. I've danced too, before, did I mention that? But no formal lessons, just group presentations.

It was fun. I miss performing sometimes, but not too much as to actively search for the chance. I don't want to make an ass of myself, you know.

Study... nah... I'm good at it. I'm a good student.

Criminology? Too much prejudice for female officers; it's like all they're good for is behind the desk and do the secretarial work. This society is too patriarchal still.

And some quarters will now say that "change comes from the inside, join the institution and change the perspective from within" or something like that. Yeah. *sarcastic look* You do it then, let's see how you'll fare on that endeavor.

Artist, painter, sketch artist? I've had one summer of lessons, and my teacher and I didn't see eye to eye on some music video so I left. Alright, so it sounds shallow, but it's the principle of the thing! Crud, I'll shut up about it then.

Teacher? Ugh, no thanks.

Nurse? Bloody hell no.

I guess this calls for a good ole fashioned in-depth self-analysis. Wonder how much a session with a shrink costs, and if I'll be indifferent to this one as well.

Self-help books are no good coz I have an allergic reaction to them.

So what else is there?

Hard sciences, natural sciences, no can do as I only have a spare background on just Chemistry no less and I hated that subject. And to think I was quite good in the hard sciences in high school...

Business? No head for it, numbers are just way too... Oh hell... Math used to be a good subject for me, but there's just something about complex numbers that blacks out my mind. I don't think I'll make for a good businesswoman as I'd rather not deal with the business, i.e. accounting, bookkeeping, and all that.

Employee? Where?


Okay, enough about that.

I just got an original VCD copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets! I would have gotten the DVD one but I don't have a DVD player, as yet. There were a number of features there that I wanted to see, including that one of the Malfoys in the Knockturn Alley shop. Anyway, I still have to negotiate for a DVD player, and save for the DVD copies of the two Harry Potter movies.

And I also got a calendar. Didn't I tell you I'd get one? I found out there were two kinds of calendars, but I bought the one with Dumbledore other than the one with Snape. Also, I found Harry's picture of catching the Snitch a lot better than the one of him dodging the Bludger. Not to say he didn't look good in both of the pictures, but well...


So what else have I been up to? I celebrated my birthday, so that was fun. Don't ask my age, and as Angelica so memorably said one time, "If you have to ask, you'll never know," or something along those lines. Suffice it to say that I don't feel my age, but you already knew that.


I think I feel my interest in Daniel Radcliffe waning a bit. Which is kinda good news... of a sort...


Linkin Park
Papercut

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here’s not right today
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia’s all I got left
I don’t know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed / but
I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
It’s like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
(And watches everything)
So I know that when it’s time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me / right beneath my skin
It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back
It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin
I know I’ve got a face in me
points out all the mistakes to me
You’ve got a face on the inside too and
Your paranoia’s probably worse
I don’t know what set me off first but I know what I can’t stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can’t add up to what you can but
Everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when they close their eyes
A face watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall
(And watches everything)
So you know that when it’s time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too / right inside your skin
It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back
It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin

It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back
It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin

the face inside is right beneath my skin
the face inside is right beneath my skin
the face inside is right beneath my skin

The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me

The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me

The sun
It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back
It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin
I feel the light betray me

The sun
It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back
It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within
I feel the light betray me
It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within