Argh..! Nothing seems to be going my way. But what is my way? I don't know.

So what has been happening?

Aside from the tense couple of days and then.. freedom! hehehe me bad. I don't know why but I always feel to be on the verge of a heart attack if and when I'm left alone with my sisters. It usually ain't so bad the first few days - they can behave - but the clincher comes when it's been more than a week going on a month, then it starts to get tense. Because ultimately, one or the other is sure to do something that will set off the other. And where does that leave me? Hoping for a nuclear meltdown, that's where.

But ^__________^ it's calm here now, mainly because one of them left and won't be back in a few days.. something about a seminar or something, I didn't ask anymore. I was just glad that she's gone! But of course, there's always something that ticks me off - she said she'd do the laundry and save me the chore, but no, just one itty bitty crook of that 'friend' and she flies off, never mind what she said she'd do before leaving.

See what I mean about not believing anything anyone says? I should follow that rule more often. Disbelieving is good; saves one the energy. Apathy is a lifesaver.


Sad news in the horizon.. Just the other day, my brother informed us that one of our grandmothers in the mother side - my Mom's aunt, I think, coz I get confused about the relationships a lot - just passed away. We were supposed to go to the wake but we kinda don't know how to get there so.. But we figured it out and we'll definitely go before the funeral.

My friend and blockmate's Mom also passed away just recently. It was kinda inevitable but still surprising the same. Our block knew that his Mom was suffering from breast cancer, but she'd been in remission for some time now. I remember being told that she suffered a turn for the worse a year or two years ago, I'm not sure anymore, but that she'd stabilized. So it was okay. Then another friend and blockmate informed me that she passed away. I definitely want to go to the wake, if only to show him that I'm here for him.

So Ricky, my condolences to you and your family. I know from personal experience how it is to lose a parent to cancer, coz my Dad had cancer. It'll be two years in a few months that he's passed away. Cancer is indeed a silent and deadly killer.


On a lighter note.. I got a sort of call back for a job. Only, I have to take this basic exam, and it's for a tutorial service. Sheesh, for some reason I can't imagine myself teaching some kid! I could lose my temper and yell at the poor kid or something. Heck, patience is supposed to be a virtue and I don't think I'm that virtuous. While there are some who say that I'm a natural with kids and that they like me, there are some who say that I scare the living daylights out of some kids. So who to believe? I don't know; personally, I like kids, over-all, but those obnoxious and bratty ones I can't stand. Good thing my nephews and nieces were always in good behaviour when I'm with them.

Speaking of which, I slept over at one of my cousins, and she had 3 kids. The youngest was still a baby - just a few months - but he was a precocious one. We met before and I'd like to think that we had some bonding going on, what with his always pulling at my shirt tie..

But it was his older sister who kinda stole the show that time that I slept over. It was like time just ran away coz the last time I saw her she was still in diapers, but now she was all of 3 or 4 years. She kept showing me her pictures when she was a baby, and she had me read her some 5 books - two stories and 3 educational aids. So we studied shapes and colors and read The Little Mermaid.. my voice was almost hoarse by the time that was over. But it was cute and fun. She even sat on my lap the whole time, and let me tell you, she ain't a light weight. ^____^;;

I think the eldest girl wanted to join us but she was doing her homework and reviewing for school the next day.


Man, but it's hot this time of the year! I think it was just a week ago when I could leave my fan on it's lowest setting and still huddle under the sheets, but now..! Hooeee!! I can't get to sleep unless it's at the highest setting and focused on me. It doesn't help that my room is kinda blocked in..

That room is probably one of my problems right now. It's not actually MY room, in that I was meant to occupy that room for the rest of my days, but it's more of a general female room in the house.. So of course the first born girl got first dibs on the room, and she's been making noises to the effect that, as translated by me: That's my room! Go away!

Well, she kinda can't make me move - coz my stuff are everywhere - so I got to thinking that maybe, just maybe, she's basically trying to take over..? Maybe, coz especially when it comes to my phone, it's like she owns it! Like a few days ago.. I distinctly remember taking the phone up with me to the room and when I woke up, the first thing I did was reach for my phobe, but it wasn't there. Guess where it was.. Yup, she took it when I was asleep. And her friends' and coworkers' numbers are already IN MY PHONE BOOK. She got this idea that I was going to get a new phone some time in the near future, so she's been eyeing my phone since then. And there she was just some time ago telling me not to put my hopes up in that particular thing.

Gods, somebody take her away; give her a job or something, just get her the hell away from my life! It's like she wants to live my life! Sheesh! If I could only curse here in the vernacular.. It'll be a very colorful curse since the language is.. well, colorful ^__^


So I'm hoping to have a job or something. I've been asked to think of what I really want to do, what with that particular offer.. Oh yeah, somebody told me to at least think about taking up another course coz she could help me with the job opportunity out of the country. I'm thinking.. and the more I'm hoping that some company will call back and offer me a job so I can refuse as gracefully as possible. I just can't see myself with that kind of job but who knows..? I could be wrong and end up in that field for all that my abjuring it.

I got some preparations going for that end, getting documents, reproducing files, editing papers..

With this bloody war in the horizon, who knows what the hell is going to happen. I still stand by my position: WAR IS NOT AN OPTION. Surprising, ain't it? Considering that I can have the most violent scenarios in my head and all, that I can say and believe that.

Iraq's bloody complying! Why the hell can't they just sit down like the CIVILIZED PERSONS that they profess to be.. never mind that the other party is sure to object that the enemy is not civilized.

And what's this that I'm hearing that those Americans who oppose war are basically un-American?! What kind of b*\[$#!^ is that?! Then there's something that I read in a news magazine, about religion being the basis of popular support for the war..

Here's some direct excerpts from that article: "..had prayed that it wouldn't come to this, but she supports the war even so. 'Bush and Powell and all those guys are Christian,' she says. 'I do believe that God has blessed this country.'
"When it come to matters of might and right, Americans look to the heavens in a way that bewilders much of the rest of the world - especially Europe. A majority of Americans say religion shapes their lives, and it clearly shapes politics. Regular churchgoers are far more likely to vote Republican than Democratic, according to polls, and it's well known that the religious right is the Bush administration's political base.." {Johnson, Dirk. A Nation Bound by Faith. Newsweek 24 February 2003}

I don't want my blog to be a sort of political commentary on my part, but the issue has been out in the open for the longest time and I just want to get my two cents in, no matter that nobody will probably read this. Coz for a blog, I think this is way too long already.

So anyway.. What the heck is up with that "holier than thou" attitude? Being a Christian grants one the right to wage war? How.. weird is that?

Okay, I don't want to say anything anymore. Silence is sometimes the better part of valor, or something like that. I don't want to be considered an "enemy of the state" or a "suspicious character" based on what I believe in. It's unfair, yes, but you can't help but think it. Say one thing against the powers-that-be and you're basically history, with no future whatsoever.

Okay, I am not saying anything anymore. A change of topic is in order.


Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos Carlos

I'm done.