Outcast
What Kanji word best suits you?
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Sunday, August 31, 2003
As is usual, it's night and I'm sequestered in front on the computer. Fun. Only it's raining. I saw on the news today that there were three storms coming in. I'm not sure if they'll follow the path to the country but they're there.
Anyways, we have this cat, and she recently gave birth. To how many kittens, I do not know, coz she gave birth in the sort of storage area of the house and I don't know and don't want to know exactly where. So far, I've heard one kitten meowling. The cat wanted to get in the house to get to her kittens, as she got locked out. Actually, she's supposed to stay outside with Shiro but... And now it's raining. Argh. Never mind.
I'm actually looking forward to something. I'm going to get out of the house on Monday. Well, just to basically do some errands and what not, but it's outside! Then there's this celebratory dinner thing (that I hope will push through) that I'm invited at, coz a friend of mine recently passed the med boards. hehehe she's a licensed MD now ^__^;; wonder if she'll push through with her plans of going into surgery? At least that's what I remembered from our conversation long ago, though I think she's considering OB-GYN for some reason.
Anyways, we have this cat, and she recently gave birth. To how many kittens, I do not know, coz she gave birth in the sort of storage area of the house and I don't know and don't want to know exactly where. So far, I've heard one kitten meowling. The cat wanted to get in the house to get to her kittens, as she got locked out. Actually, she's supposed to stay outside with Shiro but... And now it's raining. Argh. Never mind.
I'm actually looking forward to something. I'm going to get out of the house on Monday. Well, just to basically do some errands and what not, but it's outside! Then there's this celebratory dinner thing (that I hope will push through) that I'm invited at, coz a friend of mine recently passed the med boards. hehehe she's a licensed MD now ^__^;; wonder if she'll push through with her plans of going into surgery? At least that's what I remembered from our conversation long ago, though I think she's considering OB-GYN for some reason.
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Numb
Linkin Park
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
Me really, really like this song right now... inspirational even! And the video's cool as well.
News at the homefront: Not much change, still in a somewhat stalemate. I got to the room and a few minutes later, she follows. I'm like, are you my faithful pet? Sorry but I got Shiro for that. So it's like, no privacy for me ^___^ and I fucking hate it.
But what can I do but grin and bear it. And spend more time in front of the computer at nights, talking to myself and the computer. Which is kinda therapeutic, never mind that when they catch me at it (and laughing my head off sometimes) they probably think I'm bonkers and a prime candidate for a mental institution.
Quite fun ne?
I love my life, so much that I'm taking a line out of Nick Stokes' stalker guy in CSI2. "Will you let me stop your heart, Nick?"
Damn, and Nicky's so cute, well, second to Archie, who's their audio/visual techie guy at the lab. I still don't know that actor's name, but I saw him as one of the prison guards in Jet Li's The One.
hehehe nerdy...
But I've always liked the cool nerdy guys. Just check out Carlos at college. He was cool and a brainiac and real good looking... and had the hots for a younger girl who had a boyfriend in her year level... and who now has a girlfriend ^__^
Story of my life.
Linkin Park
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
Me really, really like this song right now... inspirational even! And the video's cool as well.
News at the homefront: Not much change, still in a somewhat stalemate. I got to the room and a few minutes later, she follows. I'm like, are you my faithful pet? Sorry but I got Shiro for that. So it's like, no privacy for me ^___^ and I fucking hate it.
But what can I do but grin and bear it. And spend more time in front of the computer at nights, talking to myself and the computer. Which is kinda therapeutic, never mind that when they catch me at it (and laughing my head off sometimes) they probably think I'm bonkers and a prime candidate for a mental institution.
Quite fun ne?
I love my life, so much that I'm taking a line out of Nick Stokes' stalker guy in CSI2. "Will you let me stop your heart, Nick?"
Damn, and Nicky's so cute, well, second to Archie, who's their audio/visual techie guy at the lab. I still don't know that actor's name, but I saw him as one of the prison guards in Jet Li's The One.
hehehe nerdy...
But I've always liked the cool nerdy guys. Just check out Carlos at college. He was cool and a brainiac and real good looking... and had the hots for a younger girl who had a boyfriend in her year level... and who now has a girlfriend ^__^
Story of my life.
Sunday, August 24, 2003
It's just so much fun going to Gem's journal -- you get to find all these quizzes, and I have to admit that they are fun.
Hit or miss, it doesn't matter.
You are Edward Scissorhands. Cold, dark and alone.
You have a warm heart, but you're afraid to let
anyone near you for fear of hurting them
(literally. those fucking scissors, man..)
Which Johnny Depp Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Edward Scissorhands... dang, those bloody scissors! Too bad the image'll probably appear as a red X when this comes out.
Hit or miss, it doesn't matter.
You are Edward Scissorhands. Cold, dark and alone.
You have a warm heart, but you're afraid to let
anyone near you for fear of hurting them
(literally. those fucking scissors, man..)
Which Johnny Depp Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Edward Scissorhands... dang, those bloody scissors! Too bad the image'll probably appear as a red X when this comes out.
I just watched Stephen King's Rose Red Part 1. It's about this old mansion in Seattle that's quite haunted. According to what I managed to catch on Unlocking Rose Red (the documentary companion to the TV movie), the TV movie is Stephen King's own interpretation of the actual expedition to the house.
It's fairly interesting and I can't wait to watch the next and last 2 parts of it tomorrow night. What was it that the lead actress said...? Some house are just born bad, or something like that. And then the guy who plays the guy who own the estate replied when asked why he didn't like the house, he said, "The house eats my relatives!"
Funny.
And yet, it did manage to "consume" the college reporter sent there by that petty Professor Miller to get pictures to prove that the expedition's made up of loony people.
Now I normally don't go out of my way to watch scary and suspense movies, but this one was such an interesting "specimen" if you will that I really wanted to watch it. It's a TV movie based on actual events, so that's an added bonus.
I'm more of action and adventure movie, sometimes romantic comedy, sometimes scientific venture kinda gal. Heck, I sat through that expedition of Dr. O'Shea to find the Giant Squid! And they did manage to find some larvae -- after some hits and misses -- though none survived the transit to shore. They did find some other kinds of deep sea squids and they managed to survive all the way to shore, and the plus side of this is that WHEN they manage to get live giant squid larvae they'll know how to take care of it.
Very interesting... I didn't manage to watch it the first time around so I really took the time to watch it this time. Dang, I just remembered that I missed the FBI files at Discovery when I watched Rose Red... though I think I saw that particular case file before.
So now what...?
Do spirals end? Cycles, just by their names suggest that it is a continuous process. But spirals? The way a tornado behaves is like a spiral, like water going down a funnel -- it starts somewhere above and ends below.
I like to think of what I "feel" as a spiraling cycle, from up to down and up and down... well, never mind that. I can't get in the mood to be all philosophical and psychological and moody to explain my moods. For some reason, I'm okay.
Then again, I had this thought induced dream, something that I find myself to be fond of doing. This time though I dreamt that I was a ghost; I could have been dead or in a comatose or something.
One version of this particular dream was that I exchanged souls with someone, and this woman just took over my body and did things for the whole week! That was our deal, she has one week with my body and I get to be a free agent and so whatever I want to do as a spirit. So the first thing I did was go "visit" some of my friends before I headed off to jolly old England. Moaning Myrtle has some competition ^__^
Second version of the dream was that I was either dead or in comatose, in that my spirit left my body and I wandered off to all the places that I wanted to go to -- Egypt, China, Japan, Scotland, Antartica, Ireland, England, South Africa, Croatia... everywhere! And it was fun! To ba able to soar through the air and go where you wish; observing people was the best part! They could be really good and really bad at times.
But that's people for you... reminds me of what Kay said in Men in Black: a person is a rational and intelligent being, people are panicky, mad, a mob if you will. Now, I can't rightly remember the exact wording of it but that was the gist of it.
Dang, I have to research something and I can't rightly remember what it is! I know it's important... but I can't associate it as yet. Damn.
It's fairly interesting and I can't wait to watch the next and last 2 parts of it tomorrow night. What was it that the lead actress said...? Some house are just born bad, or something like that. And then the guy who plays the guy who own the estate replied when asked why he didn't like the house, he said, "The house eats my relatives!"
Funny.
And yet, it did manage to "consume" the college reporter sent there by that petty Professor Miller to get pictures to prove that the expedition's made up of loony people.
Now I normally don't go out of my way to watch scary and suspense movies, but this one was such an interesting "specimen" if you will that I really wanted to watch it. It's a TV movie based on actual events, so that's an added bonus.
I'm more of action and adventure movie, sometimes romantic comedy, sometimes scientific venture kinda gal. Heck, I sat through that expedition of Dr. O'Shea to find the Giant Squid! And they did manage to find some larvae -- after some hits and misses -- though none survived the transit to shore. They did find some other kinds of deep sea squids and they managed to survive all the way to shore, and the plus side of this is that WHEN they manage to get live giant squid larvae they'll know how to take care of it.
Very interesting... I didn't manage to watch it the first time around so I really took the time to watch it this time. Dang, I just remembered that I missed the FBI files at Discovery when I watched Rose Red... though I think I saw that particular case file before.
So now what...?
Do spirals end? Cycles, just by their names suggest that it is a continuous process. But spirals? The way a tornado behaves is like a spiral, like water going down a funnel -- it starts somewhere above and ends below.
I like to think of what I "feel" as a spiraling cycle, from up to down and up and down... well, never mind that. I can't get in the mood to be all philosophical and psychological and moody to explain my moods. For some reason, I'm okay.
Then again, I had this thought induced dream, something that I find myself to be fond of doing. This time though I dreamt that I was a ghost; I could have been dead or in a comatose or something.
One version of this particular dream was that I exchanged souls with someone, and this woman just took over my body and did things for the whole week! That was our deal, she has one week with my body and I get to be a free agent and so whatever I want to do as a spirit. So the first thing I did was go "visit" some of my friends before I headed off to jolly old England. Moaning Myrtle has some competition ^__^
Second version of the dream was that I was either dead or in comatose, in that my spirit left my body and I wandered off to all the places that I wanted to go to -- Egypt, China, Japan, Scotland, Antartica, Ireland, England, South Africa, Croatia... everywhere! And it was fun! To ba able to soar through the air and go where you wish; observing people was the best part! They could be really good and really bad at times.
But that's people for you... reminds me of what Kay said in Men in Black: a person is a rational and intelligent being, people are panicky, mad, a mob if you will. Now, I can't rightly remember the exact wording of it but that was the gist of it.
Dang, I have to research something and I can't rightly remember what it is! I know it's important... but I can't associate it as yet. Damn.
Thursday, August 21, 2003
And so we're back at the big stand-off -- who gets to last the longest? It always gets to this point whenever the three of us, or should I say the two of them, stay in a contained area for a long period of time, i.e. the house and about a month.
Can anyone say dysfunction?
Right.
Sandy mentioned something to me in an email a while back, something about there not being a rule that blood relations should get along all the time. I'm finding that I am agreeing with her assessment; it'll be a bloody miracle if we, or they, could stand each other for as long as a year in the same house without having a major fight and blow-up at least once a month.
Take earlier this evening for example. I just had the feeling that something like this would happen. Number one had been pretty quiet about her numerous aches and pains, so I guess that was a tip off for me, since she has a lot of them. Psychosomatic (sp?) is what I say, but what do I know, right? After all, I am the youngest and therefore know nothing about what goes on in anyone's life. Who am I to disabuse them of that little bit of insight?
Anyway, so she went up to the fridge to get some water and all of a sudden just cries out number two's name. I'm like, her we go and I was just thinking of what to do in a situation like this if it occured near me. Lucky for her she was by the fridge and I was by the TV, as I was thinking, if that happened like last time when she shouted at me for no other reason than to release some stress or something, I was going to slug her one, maybe break her nose or jaw or something, but something to keep her quiet.
So number two and I was like, what? And she goes, nothing. Number two asks, what's wrong? In like, a bored voice, coz it was sorta understood that you have to be relaxed and calm when dealing with number one when she's in one of her moods, coz it doesn't help anyone's blood pressure if you all panic. And she goes, nothing, I don't know, so she ups and gets a book from the room and sets back down on the couch and we watch TV.
Good show by the way.
And so there we were, a picture of sibling bliss... NOT!!
Need I tell you then that whatever goes wrong in the house is all MY ruddy fault? The laundry smells funny? Blame ana, she's the one who's let it stay in the hamper and not do the laundry when there was water, and now look at what's happened because of the ruddy water outage. The food spoils? It's her ruddy fault for not putting it inside the fridge.
Okay, so maybe that one's reaching.
You can't clean up the room? It's ana's fault as she won't wake up early. Right... and I stay up late because...?
To lessen the conscious time I spend in your bloody presence! We stay in the same bedroom for crying out loud! I'd like to have some time ALONE with me ALONE! And I get that in the middle of the night! And you've been hogging that time as well for the past few nights! I stay up late, you bloody stay with me in the living room!
Bloody hell, I want ALONE TIME!!
And just like this morning, I wake up and you're still in the room. What the fuck is up with that? You're supposed to be out of the room already so I can at least wake up the way I want/need to, otherwise, see what's happened to me right now. I have a bleeding headache. Hell, too much of your "aura" and I get sick! It doesn't help that you go on and on about your headache.
So number two says, you're like that coz you're not used to staying in the house for this long. Which is true, she's never stayed this long before. Hell, and I just remembered, that's my ruddy fault as well, coz I roped her into watching this horror flick this weekend.
See? Everything is ana's fault. The world will end tomorrow? My fault for not alerting the media of it.
And I just got my body clock to some sort of normal... Let's see... somewhat normal body clock versus less time with them? Hmm, let me think.
Oh geez, that's a no brainer -- less time! I can live with this wonky body clock, heck, I'll survive anemia even.
And so people will probably comment that, you get to have siblings, spend time with them, blah blah blah and all that stuff. You have to get on with your life, do something, blah blah blah and all that stuff.
Sod off. It's my blog. I put in what I want to put in; as the description of this blog goes "The thoughts in my head need releasing..." or something to that effect. This is probably the most honest I can be without going crazy.
You ask me a question, I'll reply as honestly as I could. If I say I'm in a bad mood, I probably am in a bad mood, and it wouldn't help to be all that helpful and insightful and tell me to get off my arse; I'll resent you. Though lucky for you, the resentment won't last that long. I can't hold long grudges -- it takes a lot of energy to remember who did what and why and I'd rather not expend that much.
Though I probably can hold a grudge for a long time IF and WHEN it's a really major thing, like, oh I don't know, you tried to kill me or something like that.
Great fun, eh?
Orlando Bloom really looks hot, though it was quite a shock when I first saw him without the elven get-up. The long blonde locks were great but as the son of a pirate, he rocks.
And Johnny Depp was brilliant as Captain Jack Sparrow, so funny and brilliant.
As Orlando Bloom said in an interview, Pirates was and is a feel good movie, and you (hopefully) go out of the theater feeling all bubbly and energetic afterwards. It's a happy movie and I didn't mind the romantic angle at the least. It all sort of tied the ending together, coz what's a swashbuckling adventure pirate film without getting the girl?
Can anyone say dysfunction?
Right.
Sandy mentioned something to me in an email a while back, something about there not being a rule that blood relations should get along all the time. I'm finding that I am agreeing with her assessment; it'll be a bloody miracle if we, or they, could stand each other for as long as a year in the same house without having a major fight and blow-up at least once a month.
Take earlier this evening for example. I just had the feeling that something like this would happen. Number one had been pretty quiet about her numerous aches and pains, so I guess that was a tip off for me, since she has a lot of them. Psychosomatic (sp?) is what I say, but what do I know, right? After all, I am the youngest and therefore know nothing about what goes on in anyone's life. Who am I to disabuse them of that little bit of insight?
Anyway, so she went up to the fridge to get some water and all of a sudden just cries out number two's name. I'm like, her we go and I was just thinking of what to do in a situation like this if it occured near me. Lucky for her she was by the fridge and I was by the TV, as I was thinking, if that happened like last time when she shouted at me for no other reason than to release some stress or something, I was going to slug her one, maybe break her nose or jaw or something, but something to keep her quiet.
So number two and I was like, what? And she goes, nothing. Number two asks, what's wrong? In like, a bored voice, coz it was sorta understood that you have to be relaxed and calm when dealing with number one when she's in one of her moods, coz it doesn't help anyone's blood pressure if you all panic. And she goes, nothing, I don't know, so she ups and gets a book from the room and sets back down on the couch and we watch TV.
Good show by the way.
And so there we were, a picture of sibling bliss... NOT!!
Need I tell you then that whatever goes wrong in the house is all MY ruddy fault? The laundry smells funny? Blame ana, she's the one who's let it stay in the hamper and not do the laundry when there was water, and now look at what's happened because of the ruddy water outage. The food spoils? It's her ruddy fault for not putting it inside the fridge.
Okay, so maybe that one's reaching.
You can't clean up the room? It's ana's fault as she won't wake up early. Right... and I stay up late because...?
To lessen the conscious time I spend in your bloody presence! We stay in the same bedroom for crying out loud! I'd like to have some time ALONE with me ALONE! And I get that in the middle of the night! And you've been hogging that time as well for the past few nights! I stay up late, you bloody stay with me in the living room!
Bloody hell, I want ALONE TIME!!
And just like this morning, I wake up and you're still in the room. What the fuck is up with that? You're supposed to be out of the room already so I can at least wake up the way I want/need to, otherwise, see what's happened to me right now. I have a bleeding headache. Hell, too much of your "aura" and I get sick! It doesn't help that you go on and on about your headache.
So number two says, you're like that coz you're not used to staying in the house for this long. Which is true, she's never stayed this long before. Hell, and I just remembered, that's my ruddy fault as well, coz I roped her into watching this horror flick this weekend.
See? Everything is ana's fault. The world will end tomorrow? My fault for not alerting the media of it.
And I just got my body clock to some sort of normal... Let's see... somewhat normal body clock versus less time with them? Hmm, let me think.
Oh geez, that's a no brainer -- less time! I can live with this wonky body clock, heck, I'll survive anemia even.
And so people will probably comment that, you get to have siblings, spend time with them, blah blah blah and all that stuff. You have to get on with your life, do something, blah blah blah and all that stuff.
Sod off. It's my blog. I put in what I want to put in; as the description of this blog goes "The thoughts in my head need releasing..." or something to that effect. This is probably the most honest I can be without going crazy.
You ask me a question, I'll reply as honestly as I could. If I say I'm in a bad mood, I probably am in a bad mood, and it wouldn't help to be all that helpful and insightful and tell me to get off my arse; I'll resent you. Though lucky for you, the resentment won't last that long. I can't hold long grudges -- it takes a lot of energy to remember who did what and why and I'd rather not expend that much.
Though I probably can hold a grudge for a long time IF and WHEN it's a really major thing, like, oh I don't know, you tried to kill me or something like that.
Great fun, eh?
Orlando Bloom really looks hot, though it was quite a shock when I first saw him without the elven get-up. The long blonde locks were great but as the son of a pirate, he rocks.
And Johnny Depp was brilliant as Captain Jack Sparrow, so funny and brilliant.
As Orlando Bloom said in an interview, Pirates was and is a feel good movie, and you (hopefully) go out of the theater feeling all bubbly and energetic afterwards. It's a happy movie and I didn't mind the romantic angle at the least. It all sort of tied the ending together, coz what's a swashbuckling adventure pirate film without getting the girl?
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Monday, August 18, 2003
Oh my God...! *mad laughter* That was... peculiarly enough, weird and satisfying at the same time.
I just read through some, i.e. those that I've managed to save in a disk, of my Philosophy and Theology papers from college. Damn, did I write those? It was great fun reading them, especially the one for my Philosophy of Religion class. *snickers* wonder what grade I got for that? For that matter, did I even turn it in? I knew I was writing a paper for that class that I didn't want to turn in but I don't know if that was the one.
Oh well, as long as I turned one in and I passed the bloody course.
I'll put them up in the site once I manage to "clean" them up a bit.
*mad laughter*
It is just sooo good!! I watched Lara Croft: The Cradle of Life and Pirates of the Carribean: Legend of the Black Pearl back to back!
Well, alright, so I borrowed the VCD from the other house. Tomb Raider was poorly copied but Pirates was well enough.
hehehe Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp in one movie, I could swoon!!
Dang, I'm only just getting into these quiz things... It's fun. Sometimes it's head-on, sometimes you need a radar to get it on track.
Pretty funny.
It's sometimes difficult to answer the quizzes as I sometimes am of two minds on some things, and then I feel like a total personality change comes in when I feel like it.
Depends really...
Aesthete
The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
Oh well...
I just read through some, i.e. those that I've managed to save in a disk, of my Philosophy and Theology papers from college. Damn, did I write those? It was great fun reading them, especially the one for my Philosophy of Religion class. *snickers* wonder what grade I got for that? For that matter, did I even turn it in? I knew I was writing a paper for that class that I didn't want to turn in but I don't know if that was the one.
Oh well, as long as I turned one in and I passed the bloody course.
I'll put them up in the site once I manage to "clean" them up a bit.
*mad laughter*
It is just sooo good!! I watched Lara Croft: The Cradle of Life and Pirates of the Carribean: Legend of the Black Pearl back to back!
Well, alright, so I borrowed the VCD from the other house. Tomb Raider was poorly copied but Pirates was well enough.
hehehe Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp in one movie, I could swoon!!
Dang, I'm only just getting into these quiz things... It's fun. Sometimes it's head-on, sometimes you need a radar to get it on track.
Pretty funny.
It's sometimes difficult to answer the quizzes as I sometimes am of two minds on some things, and then I feel like a total personality change comes in when I feel like it.
Depends really...
Aesthete
The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
Oh well...
Saturday, August 16, 2003
Just for the heck of it...
You should be dating a Cancer.
21 June - 22 July
This mate is protective, kind and compassionate.
Though this crab can often be possessive, moody
or crabby, he or she is strongly attached to
his/her sexual partner.
What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla
So... anybody know anybody matching with this results? hehehe ^__^;;
A Cancer...? Do I even know anyone who's a Cancer? ...Don't think so...
Argh, just smile and bear it, that's the philosophy I live by nowadays. And damn, but even my thoughts leading to dreams are so dark...! Must be affected by the recent pattern of movies I'm watching and planning to watch on cable.
Rose Red is definitely something that I want to see. It's a Stephen King. 'Nuff said.
wow, 26 new email messages. Heck, I haven't been able to check my email, i.e. go online, for such a long time now coz I was managing to fall asleep like at midnight or some minutes past it -- which is a bloody improvement!
I'm only doing this now at this time coz I managed to get a quick nap in when the power went out. And about that, I know I should be feeling sorry and all that for what's happening in NE USA (NYC among them) considering that in NYC the last time they had a power outage was like 30 something years ago, but... ergh, get over it? It's a technical problem; everything should be back to normal a lot faster than it gets here when there's a major power outage.
Oh yeah, something that managed to wake me up sufficiently to be able to write it down.
The day I die is the day I live
The day I live is the day I die
So in the now and in between
All that I can do is breathe
Breathe in, breathe out
Breathing is the basis of life
Existing is all that I can do
Until such time that I can die
Until such time that I'll live
Breathe in, breathe out.
Now, before you get all that "out with angst, in with productivity" banners and what-not, let me tell you the context of this... poem, if you will.
I was halfway between consciousness and sleep, so it's safe to say that I'm possibly in the dream state. I was sitting down on one of those computer desk chairs facing a glass wall window. There was a large desk behind me and a few people on the other side of the desk, presumably talking with me.
Well, alright, so we were having some sort of conference (about what, I have no idea) and this "poem" just came out of my mouth. Then I turned to them and asked, "So what do you people think?"
Alone time is good to get your thoughts in order...
You should be dating a Cancer.
21 June - 22 July
This mate is protective, kind and compassionate.
Though this crab can often be possessive, moody
or crabby, he or she is strongly attached to
his/her sexual partner.
What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla
So... anybody know anybody matching with this results? hehehe ^__^;;
A Cancer...? Do I even know anyone who's a Cancer? ...Don't think so...
Argh, just smile and bear it, that's the philosophy I live by nowadays. And damn, but even my thoughts leading to dreams are so dark...! Must be affected by the recent pattern of movies I'm watching and planning to watch on cable.
Rose Red is definitely something that I want to see. It's a Stephen King. 'Nuff said.
wow, 26 new email messages. Heck, I haven't been able to check my email, i.e. go online, for such a long time now coz I was managing to fall asleep like at midnight or some minutes past it -- which is a bloody improvement!
I'm only doing this now at this time coz I managed to get a quick nap in when the power went out. And about that, I know I should be feeling sorry and all that for what's happening in NE USA (NYC among them) considering that in NYC the last time they had a power outage was like 30 something years ago, but... ergh, get over it? It's a technical problem; everything should be back to normal a lot faster than it gets here when there's a major power outage.
Oh yeah, something that managed to wake me up sufficiently to be able to write it down.
The day I die is the day I live
The day I live is the day I die
So in the now and in between
All that I can do is breathe
Breathe in, breathe out
Breathing is the basis of life
Existing is all that I can do
Until such time that I can die
Until such time that I'll live
Breathe in, breathe out.
Now, before you get all that "out with angst, in with productivity" banners and what-not, let me tell you the context of this... poem, if you will.
I was halfway between consciousness and sleep, so it's safe to say that I'm possibly in the dream state. I was sitting down on one of those computer desk chairs facing a glass wall window. There was a large desk behind me and a few people on the other side of the desk, presumably talking with me.
Well, alright, so we were having some sort of conference (about what, I have no idea) and this "poem" just came out of my mouth. Then I turned to them and asked, "So what do you people think?"
Alone time is good to get your thoughts in order...
Saturday, August 09, 2003
This ought to be interesting...
Followed by...
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
Great fun, ne?
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Moderate |
| Schizoid: | High |
| Schizotypal: | Moderate |
| Antisocial: | Moderate |
| Borderline: | Moderate |
| Histrionic: | Low |
| Narcissistic: | Moderate |
| Avoidant: | High |
| Dependent: | Moderate |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Moderate |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
Followed by...
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Very High |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Moderate |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | High |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Very High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Moderate |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Moderate |
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
Great fun, ne?
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Oh yeah, I got TWO copies of the August 4 issue of Newsweek, the one with the article on the film Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban! PICS!! I got them!! hehehe me happy.
My sister went out one day and she went to the bookstore and asked if I had that copy already as my subscription was about to end. I said no and that I had no idea if that issue was going to be delivered to me. So she went and bought it. Then the next day, the issue arrived. Now I have two copies. Cool ne?
And wonder of wonders, I went to sleep early last night, 1030 or sometime around that. Really nice, so I got to wake up today at around 8am. Yeah so, somebody texted me that bloody early and woke me up. Usually I'd just ignore it and go back to sleep, but I felt awake.
Kinda nice, maybe this time around I could change my body clock to normal again...? Yeah, needs work. It can be difficult changing the normal routine you've been used to to something else. Withdrawal symptoms, oh my...
hehehe so, my nephew just came over to visit. Erh... he's the son of my cousin, so yeah he is my nephew. Anyway, it was nice to see him again (he bloody lightened his hair!). It's been a long time. He's working abroad and this vacation was sort of spur of the moment. He told me that his sister (my niece, technically, but we're the same age) was already married (1 year a few months ago) to her long time boyfriend. Considering we are family, one has to wonder why we were never told. Hmm...
But I wish her all the best, nevertheless. If she's happy, then it's alright.
Come to think of it, we've never really been that close when we lived across the street from each other; what more now that they've moved like across town?
Right?
Right.
erh... quiet... no cable...
My sister went out one day and she went to the bookstore and asked if I had that copy already as my subscription was about to end. I said no and that I had no idea if that issue was going to be delivered to me. So she went and bought it. Then the next day, the issue arrived. Now I have two copies. Cool ne?
And wonder of wonders, I went to sleep early last night, 1030 or sometime around that. Really nice, so I got to wake up today at around 8am. Yeah so, somebody texted me that bloody early and woke me up. Usually I'd just ignore it and go back to sleep, but I felt awake.
Kinda nice, maybe this time around I could change my body clock to normal again...? Yeah, needs work. It can be difficult changing the normal routine you've been used to to something else. Withdrawal symptoms, oh my...
hehehe so, my nephew just came over to visit. Erh... he's the son of my cousin, so yeah he is my nephew. Anyway, it was nice to see him again (he bloody lightened his hair!). It's been a long time. He's working abroad and this vacation was sort of spur of the moment. He told me that his sister (my niece, technically, but we're the same age) was already married (1 year a few months ago) to her long time boyfriend. Considering we are family, one has to wonder why we were never told. Hmm...
But I wish her all the best, nevertheless. If she's happy, then it's alright.
Come to think of it, we've never really been that close when we lived across the street from each other; what more now that they've moved like across town?
Right?
Right.
erh... quiet... no cable...
Hah!!
I saw a film with David Thewlis in it! It's "Black Beauty" and he plays this cabbie named Jerry... erh, either Barker or Baker, not sure right now. I just saw the film on cable TV. He was... alright... Kinda weird though... Remus Lupin was always described as a prematurely aged person (because of his lycantrophy) and in "Black Beauty" he got sick. Two roles that I know of his and he's sickly in both?
Gah...
But it was alright.
So what else is new...? Nothing much, except that I am feeling kinda... erh... bad stomach, never mind.
I saw a film with David Thewlis in it! It's "Black Beauty" and he plays this cabbie named Jerry... erh, either Barker or Baker, not sure right now. I just saw the film on cable TV. He was... alright... Kinda weird though... Remus Lupin was always described as a prematurely aged person (because of his lycantrophy) and in "Black Beauty" he got sick. Two roles that I know of his and he's sickly in both?
Gah...
But it was alright.
So what else is new...? Nothing much, except that I am feeling kinda... erh... bad stomach, never mind.
Monday, August 04, 2003
Going to the mall with a one-year-old kid can be bloody murder, especially if said kid has a fascination with stairs. Coupled with "not wanna go with you" attitude, when the mother is looking through clothes. Trust me on this one.
Gaah...
Tiring, but enjoyable. I got to go out of the house, so that was nice. We got back quite late but I didn't mind. It was an adventure, of a sort, especially when the kid was set down on the and started running all over the place, crying and looking for her mom, and she was going in the wrong direction, mind.
I managed to buy myself a new hairbrush, a leather scoongie to match with my leather jacket, and a pair of cute baby socks in blue. They were cute! And I wanted to have something to place my cell phone in as I didn't have a leather case for the new unit. I could have bought some of those ready made cloth cases -- and there were plenty on offer -- but I figure, why buy that when there's a cheaper substitute? And it was like, I could buy two pairs of baby socks for one piece of the cloth case. Easy choice.
So now that I've been to that local mall, I want to go back, coz there were several items that I want to get. A pair of comfy sandals, for example -- I'm getting tired of the whole running shoes and boots look -- some interesting tops, jeans, and yes, even a skirt or two.
Not to mention CDs, but I want the original, non-pirated version, thank you very much. I could go on yadda yadda yadda about piracy but... Never mind.
On and on it went, until the lights went out, and still they went on... never stopping.
Gaah...
Tiring, but enjoyable. I got to go out of the house, so that was nice. We got back quite late but I didn't mind. It was an adventure, of a sort, especially when the kid was set down on the and started running all over the place, crying and looking for her mom, and she was going in the wrong direction, mind.
I managed to buy myself a new hairbrush, a leather scoongie to match with my leather jacket, and a pair of cute baby socks in blue. They were cute! And I wanted to have something to place my cell phone in as I didn't have a leather case for the new unit. I could have bought some of those ready made cloth cases -- and there were plenty on offer -- but I figure, why buy that when there's a cheaper substitute? And it was like, I could buy two pairs of baby socks for one piece of the cloth case. Easy choice.
So now that I've been to that local mall, I want to go back, coz there were several items that I want to get. A pair of comfy sandals, for example -- I'm getting tired of the whole running shoes and boots look -- some interesting tops, jeans, and yes, even a skirt or two.
Not to mention CDs, but I want the original, non-pirated version, thank you very much. I could go on yadda yadda yadda about piracy but... Never mind.
On and on it went, until the lights went out, and still they went on... never stopping.
Sunday, August 03, 2003
*sigh* and I was almost sleepy, but I had to get up and open up the computer and Net connection because I'd forgotten to do my niece's homework earlier. It wasn'tt much really, and I don't know what reminded me, but all of a sudden I was up and about.
Anyway, she needed the name of the Georgian President, so I looked it up. I don't know if she has to have a copy of the Constitution or other stuff... *sigh* at least I remembered to do it.
And there went my wonderful fantasy of finally being able to go to sleep a bit earlier than usual.
I'm going out tomorrow with a couple of friends. I wanted to go to the mall to see if I could finally buy Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, but they kinda outvoted me so we're going to the other local mall. It should be fun as I'd never been to this mall before, believe it or not. It's been open for a while -- 5 years, I think -- and I never even got curious as to how it is. See one mall, sen them all, or something like that.
My goddaughter's coming along as well... since her mom was the one who came up with this idea... funny thing is, when before she'd come to me and actually listen to me, now, it's back to avoid my godmother mode.
Kids...
And the racket she made earlier...! Argh! I told her mom that I was definitely not going to be taking care of her daughter tomorrow -- or is it today? -- as I am quite sure we'll just annoy each other to hell and back and one of us will probably be crying to the high heavens. And I'm not it.
Anyway, she needed the name of the Georgian President, so I looked it up. I don't know if she has to have a copy of the Constitution or other stuff... *sigh* at least I remembered to do it.
And there went my wonderful fantasy of finally being able to go to sleep a bit earlier than usual.
I'm going out tomorrow with a couple of friends. I wanted to go to the mall to see if I could finally buy Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, but they kinda outvoted me so we're going to the other local mall. It should be fun as I'd never been to this mall before, believe it or not. It's been open for a while -- 5 years, I think -- and I never even got curious as to how it is. See one mall, sen them all, or something like that.
My goddaughter's coming along as well... since her mom was the one who came up with this idea... funny thing is, when before she'd come to me and actually listen to me, now, it's back to avoid my godmother mode.
Kids...
And the racket she made earlier...! Argh! I told her mom that I was definitely not going to be taking care of her daughter tomorrow -- or is it today? -- as I am quite sure we'll just annoy each other to hell and back and one of us will probably be crying to the high heavens. And I'm not it.