Dogs barking outside, eep, creepy... wonder what kind of person's walking the streets this time of the night? I don't think I want to know; that's why I'm taking refuge in using a pair of earphones to somewhat nullify the barking.

It's been a... weird, difficult past few days. First thing's first.

Choco's dead.

Damn, that was so final. Anyway, so it happened this Monday morning, somewhat early coz when I woke up, she wasn't anywhere inside or outside the house and her bed was gone. My sister told me my brother saw that Choco was dead and so, threw the body out. Was kinda hoping she'd say they buried her...

And just that night, I had a weird dream. One minute I was giving Choco a bath, then I was taking care of a baby boy who called me Mama? How weird is that? And I just know it was a boy, and I can even recall some of his features - he looked tall (long bones, I'm betting) and had beautiful chinito eyes (slanting, I guess would be a correct assumption), dark hair - and he called me Mama. I'm guessing he was about a year old or thereabouts, but he was tottering around in his diapers, and I was holding out my arms for him to walk towards me.

Oh crud, Sandy, don't tell me this "wanting to have a kid" thing is contagious...! Or maybe it was just a bloody dream. Ack, I have to take her advice and just chill...

But the weird thing about it was just this afternoon as I was using the computer, I had the distinct feeling of déjà vu, and I am not talking about that Mandy Moore song. I just knew that I've seen and been in the whole scene inside the house - I was in front of the computer, listening to music using the earphones and reading a story, my sister was doing something in the kitchen, and my brother was watching the television and commenting about something. Even the particular music I was listening to and the television program felt familiar in that they'd happened before.

Creepy. And weird.

Do I want a child? Heck no, not yet anyway. Besides, how can I promise to take care of one if I'm going to expire when I reach 35? Figure it out.


So on to more... erhm, interesting things that, incidentally happened on that same day. I was minding my own business later that Monday morning (around lunchtime, I'm guessing, but I'm not usually aware of the time) when Feifu texted me, asking about when I could go online that day. I'm like, huh? Okay, I'll try to do so later that night. So we chatted about stuff then she said she didn't have any more battery life and can't text me anymore. So okay.

The next thing I knew, her Mom called me up that night and asked if I'd had any contact with Feifu. I said we were texting at around lunchtime but that she had low battery and couldn't text anymore. Then she went that Feifu hadn't called yet and wasn't home yet that time of the night. I'm like, what the heck? I didn't even know she wasn't home!

But there could have been a reasonable explanation. She did say she had low battery, and she could have just been stuck in traffic. It could happen right?

That suspicion was semi-confirmed, for me anyway, when one of her closest friends - Guido - called me up with pretty much the same query. Actually he was the one who told me about the traffic thing - I'm thinking I could have still been shock over Choco that I wasn't processing things right. As I've just gone that way a few weeks or so before (when we went to Baguio), I saw that the road was being constructed, entangling commuters in more traffic.

I could go on about the inconvenience that project does to everyone but not here and not now. Maybe when I get stuck in traffic again.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Feifu went missing. That was confirmed when her mother and her aunt called me up in the early morning, asking if I've had any contact with her at all. It would seem that the bloody git (sorry about that Feifu) didn't go home that night. I have no idea what or how those conversations went, as I am really not a morning person, whatever the circumstances. But I do recall that her mom sounded tired; she hadn't slept at all that night waiting for her errant daughter.

All I could do was tell her to try to get some sleep, as she can't very well continue on with what's she's doing. Then I got a text from another of Feifu's friends saying that her mom was on her way to school. Oh yeah, she was supposed to go to school to get her diploma.

So anyway, I tried calling Feifu's cellphone but there wasn't any answer. Possible reason: she had low battery and couldn't charge up. Did she even bring her charger?

But there's a happy ending. I have no idea what time it was, after lunch I think? Oh man, I really, really need a talking watch that would tell me what time it was on the hour, every hour. So anyway, after lunch, Guido texted me again, sounding quite happy. The reason: it would seem that the prodigal daughter has returned and has been reunited with her mother.

All in all, a happy ending.

Then earlier this evening, I'm guessing Feifu texted all of her friends that she's alright and she's not grounded. Which is really good.

And now all that remains is the big question: Why?

But I wouldn't worry about it too much; she'll talk when she's ready and we can't really force her to. So I'm hoping she'll tell us, in her own time.



Argh, time again? Talking watch, definitely.


Vic Zhou's SOOO CUTE!! What about that smile, that laugh, those eyes...?! I'm turning into a regular Meteor Garden fan. Wah!! I want the CDs! I want to go to their concert! Can I keep Vic?


I'm editing Illusion right now to pass the time. Heck, I need to get these edited versions out, pronto!


Argh I hate this virus... die already why don't you?!

I can't bloody reformat the computer again; been told not to. And in addition to that, I've been told to just leave Yahoo alone. I'm like, WTF?! My online life is there!! ARGH!!


Ah geez... my throat's hurting... just the left side though... feels like a lance is stuck inside the flesh and I can't swallow without feeling a sharp pain. And I think I'm tasting blood now. Oh crap, do I have to drink my own blood again? This is getting way too old for comfort.