hehehe I know I really shouldn't go on about this, but I can't help myself. My mindset for the weekend has already been set -- that I would get a chance to relax and just forget for a bit -- but that's all shattered now.
Wow. Shattered. Real destructive word.
Hmm... postponed, maybe.
Ah well.
So...
I haven't started on my September fic, and I am getting antsy about it. Everytime I try to get into that particular character's head, I just keep getting bounced off and around in a merry-go-round. Sheesh, who knew she could be so uncooperative, and just when I was giving her a chance to have a go at it, a chance to speak her piece.
Then again, it could be that I have an exam on Oncology on Tuesday that's bothering the creative process.
the thoughts in my head need releasing, and the world is a darker place because of it... beware the silence, my friends, for it breeds
Friday, September 30, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
argh, and more argh
i think the title says it all. I've been questioning my decision to invite him to the group that I formed, mainly for a rather select group. So alright, he could may be a part of that group, but does he have to sound so... argh! Condescending, maybe?
We're the majority. Shouldn't he, like, make the adjustments and not us?
That is just so effing annoying!
And it's early, though I think I could may be late going to school because I'm still online right now, and I don't care.
I'm annoyed and I want to be annoyed for a bit more time so that by the time I get to school, my temper will just be on simmer, and I won't snap at my older classmates. Who said wearing masks was easy? Off with THEIR heads, whoever they are.
*grumble*
I hate that attitude, but of course, I can't vent in the group coz that's like, impolite to do so, especially in their company. Hah, I'm ignoring his email and the not-so subtle hint that I change the way I communicate with majority of the group just for him. That's not me, and that's not going to happen.
We're the majority. Shouldn't he, like, make the adjustments and not us?
That is just so effing annoying!
And it's early, though I think I could may be late going to school because I'm still online right now, and I don't care.
I'm annoyed and I want to be annoyed for a bit more time so that by the time I get to school, my temper will just be on simmer, and I won't snap at my older classmates. Who said wearing masks was easy? Off with THEIR heads, whoever they are.
*grumble*
I hate that attitude, but of course, I can't vent in the group coz that's like, impolite to do so, especially in their company. Hah, I'm ignoring his email and the not-so subtle hint that I change the way I communicate with majority of the group just for him. That's not me, and that's not going to happen.
Monday, September 19, 2005
and then there was... me
Dramatic ba?
hehehe
La lang, just glad that I got to use my internet card again, after a weekend of hell trying to use the darned thing.
Thing is, I had this really weird dream, and it involved alien invasion. So, I was with a group of friends at a local highschool, and we spot this really big satellite dish that's powering up. After a long string of physics (for some reason, in the dream I said, "Just tell Karen all the physics stuff then she can tell us in more understandable words."), we got that it was prepping for the alien's entrance into the planet by destroying everything, I guess for a clean slate for them. So we got to work on some kind of shield that would bend the laser beam and send it off to space instead. We did, and it worked. That was some moment. And then it rained, rather, hailed, meteor showered, whatever. Lots and lots and lots of hot stones came pouring down. Since the shield was built against the laser beam, that was useless with stones, so we ducked for cover. It hurt getting hit with those stones, I tell you. After that, there came this rumbling sound, and off into the horizon, I spotted walking pyramids.
Yes people, walking pyramids.
I think I miss Stargate SG-1.
So these pyramids just waltz on by, stepping on a lot of buildings, and consequently, people, and leaving a lot of dead in their wake. It was at this point that I woke up.
hehehe
La lang, just glad that I got to use my internet card again, after a weekend of hell trying to use the darned thing.
Thing is, I had this really weird dream, and it involved alien invasion. So, I was with a group of friends at a local highschool, and we spot this really big satellite dish that's powering up. After a long string of physics (for some reason, in the dream I said, "Just tell Karen all the physics stuff then she can tell us in more understandable words."), we got that it was prepping for the alien's entrance into the planet by destroying everything, I guess for a clean slate for them. So we got to work on some kind of shield that would bend the laser beam and send it off to space instead. We did, and it worked. That was some moment. And then it rained, rather, hailed, meteor showered, whatever. Lots and lots and lots of hot stones came pouring down. Since the shield was built against the laser beam, that was useless with stones, so we ducked for cover. It hurt getting hit with those stones, I tell you. After that, there came this rumbling sound, and off into the horizon, I spotted walking pyramids.
Yes people, walking pyramids.
I think I miss Stargate SG-1.
So these pyramids just waltz on by, stepping on a lot of buildings, and consequently, people, and leaving a lot of dead in their wake. It was at this point that I woke up.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
so good...
...to be online again. After a harrowing couple of nights when I couldn't get online (the pox on my former provider, though to be cancelled as needed), I finally changed providers and lo and behold! I am online yet again.
hehehe
...to be breathing. C'mon, think about it. Getting strangled to death is not a pretty way to go. And it hurts like hell, from what the facial expressions of such victims convey. Isn't a quick and painless way to go the ideal way to go?
*morbidity*
...to be with someone. Not that I am with someone currently. Or since, for that matter. It kinda got to me, when I went out today, that I'm seeing a lot of couples. I know there's a lot of them out there, but I guess I'm just realizing that I am seeing couples out there now. They're not just something... not there before. I don't know.
*depressing*
...to have something to do. And no, sleeping cannot count as something to do. Poor me, as that is just the one thing that I would love to do for all eternity. Sleep. Sleep the sleep of a thousand ages, and rejoice in the visions.
*perking up somewhat*
...to just let go, and not worry about anything else. That sort of freedom, I would welcome. As it is, I have to maintain a semblance of control most of the time, and it's wearing on me.
*pensive*
...to be me. Nope. Not yet. Getting there though.
hehehe
...to be breathing. C'mon, think about it. Getting strangled to death is not a pretty way to go. And it hurts like hell, from what the facial expressions of such victims convey. Isn't a quick and painless way to go the ideal way to go?
*morbidity*
...to be with someone. Not that I am with someone currently. Or since, for that matter. It kinda got to me, when I went out today, that I'm seeing a lot of couples. I know there's a lot of them out there, but I guess I'm just realizing that I am seeing couples out there now. They're not just something... not there before. I don't know.
*depressing*
...to have something to do. And no, sleeping cannot count as something to do. Poor me, as that is just the one thing that I would love to do for all eternity. Sleep. Sleep the sleep of a thousand ages, and rejoice in the visions.
*perking up somewhat*
...to just let go, and not worry about anything else. That sort of freedom, I would welcome. As it is, I have to maintain a semblance of control most of the time, and it's wearing on me.
*pensive*
...to be me. Nope. Not yet. Getting there though.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Testing the waters
hehehe
Was bored with the other template, and as I was already online, I might as well change it, ne?
So. News about me.
Have a test on Tuesday.
What else is new?
@__@;;
Was bored with the other template, and as I was already online, I might as well change it, ne?
So. News about me.
Have a test on Tuesday.
What else is new?
@__@;;
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Hmm... let's see...
HALE poster autographed by lead singer Champ. Check. *swoon*
Happy day. Check.
Try to study. Check.
Sleep. Check.
Toxic exam. Check.
Eat to decompress. Check. Still hungry though. Have to start a sensible diet program for myself. I so don't want to loose the new pants and shirt.
Prepare for new lesson. Half-check. Already read through the module once before. I'm hoping for the stock knowledge syndrome to kick in. Which I really doubt at the same time.
Afternoon nap. Check.
Weird dream. Check. Hmm, must be the "inipit" cake with the seafood dumplings affecting my brain, but they were delicious all the same. Kinda makes me wonder why I dreamed of Mac-and-Cheese though. And the mistrust and betrayal theme interspered with the giving spirit. And some of the people in my dream were in costume (cosplay!).
Study. Half-check. Though I am kinda getting pressured to study, which is just plain wrong, since the drive to study should come from me and not from any outside source. Really shouldn't let them get to me, aye?
Time online. Check. Even just for a while. Have to check emails. ^__^
HALE poster autographed by lead singer Champ. Check. *swoon*
Happy day. Check.
Try to study. Check.
Sleep. Check.
Toxic exam. Check.
Eat to decompress. Check. Still hungry though. Have to start a sensible diet program for myself. I so don't want to loose the new pants and shirt.
Prepare for new lesson. Half-check. Already read through the module once before. I'm hoping for the stock knowledge syndrome to kick in. Which I really doubt at the same time.
Afternoon nap. Check.
Weird dream. Check. Hmm, must be the "inipit" cake with the seafood dumplings affecting my brain, but they were delicious all the same. Kinda makes me wonder why I dreamed of Mac-and-Cheese though. And the mistrust and betrayal theme interspered with the giving spirit. And some of the people in my dream were in costume (cosplay!).
Study. Half-check. Though I am kinda getting pressured to study, which is just plain wrong, since the drive to study should come from me and not from any outside source. Really shouldn't let them get to me, aye?
Time online. Check. Even just for a while. Have to check emails. ^__^
Saturday, September 03, 2005
I feel like I've just woken up from a semi-deep sleep.
It's like, I'm aware of what I've been doing but at the same time, I'm viewing it through a lens and am not really there, in my life, living my life.
Weird?
Yeah, guess it is.
Maybe I just need more sleep? Or maybe I just woke up.
Maybe I just need to think more on what I'm going to do with the rest of my life... Okay, so maybe the rest of my life is just too long a time to contemplate, so we'll scale that down to the next five years. Give or take a few years if I don't follow through with that killing myself off thing in the next five or so years.
Anyway, I think that was just the fear of getting old and useless kicking in when I made that promise to myself. Who wants to be old and useless? I'd rather be dead than litter the already littered world with my useless hide.
Now, if people could just make themselves useful, this wouldn't be such a bad place to be in.
It's way early in the morning and I have a somewhat toxic exam coming up on Tuesday that I have to study for. Don't know what my classmates were thinking, scheduling the exams this way in this instance. So we have 4 subjects left over from the previous exam of Module 10, and they wanted to do that on Tuesday as well with the scheduled exam of the whole Module 11? Geez, did warn them though. Asked them if they wouldn't be too burdened by that, but did they see my point? Of course not! So being the kind and mature class prez that I am, we held a vote and majority won, which meant we will be having the exams on Tuesday.
I know I can handle this, I don't know if they can. I mean, I have my relatively recent college years to fall back on, and I know I can do this coz I've done it before, having a really toxic day wherein all your professors want them to be your one and only priority and thus schedule all their requirements to be turned in that day and exams to be taken that day as well. So maybe in college all I had to deal with were social and philosophical issues, and I'm dealing with medical ones this time around. It's the principle of the thing though.
I can do this and I will do this.
Especially since I so bombed the previous exam. Geez, below the passing 75%! Seven out of ten? SIX out of ten? That's gotta be my lowest so far... Oh yeah, I have a three out of five, which is worse. Thank the gods I don't have anything below those scores.
Midterms results are back! Flunked Surgical Procedures (6/10), but I perfected Anatomy and Physiology, Laboratory Medicine, Pharmacology, and Professional Issues.
hehehe
My reward to myself: SLEEP.
It's like, I'm aware of what I've been doing but at the same time, I'm viewing it through a lens and am not really there, in my life, living my life.
Weird?
Yeah, guess it is.
Maybe I just need more sleep? Or maybe I just woke up.
Maybe I just need to think more on what I'm going to do with the rest of my life... Okay, so maybe the rest of my life is just too long a time to contemplate, so we'll scale that down to the next five years. Give or take a few years if I don't follow through with that killing myself off thing in the next five or so years.
Anyway, I think that was just the fear of getting old and useless kicking in when I made that promise to myself. Who wants to be old and useless? I'd rather be dead than litter the already littered world with my useless hide.
Now, if people could just make themselves useful, this wouldn't be such a bad place to be in.
It's way early in the morning and I have a somewhat toxic exam coming up on Tuesday that I have to study for. Don't know what my classmates were thinking, scheduling the exams this way in this instance. So we have 4 subjects left over from the previous exam of Module 10, and they wanted to do that on Tuesday as well with the scheduled exam of the whole Module 11? Geez, did warn them though. Asked them if they wouldn't be too burdened by that, but did they see my point? Of course not! So being the kind and mature class prez that I am, we held a vote and majority won, which meant we will be having the exams on Tuesday.
I know I can handle this, I don't know if they can. I mean, I have my relatively recent college years to fall back on, and I know I can do this coz I've done it before, having a really toxic day wherein all your professors want them to be your one and only priority and thus schedule all their requirements to be turned in that day and exams to be taken that day as well. So maybe in college all I had to deal with were social and philosophical issues, and I'm dealing with medical ones this time around. It's the principle of the thing though.
I can do this and I will do this.
Especially since I so bombed the previous exam. Geez, below the passing 75%! Seven out of ten? SIX out of ten? That's gotta be my lowest so far... Oh yeah, I have a three out of five, which is worse. Thank the gods I don't have anything below those scores.
Midterms results are back! Flunked Surgical Procedures (6/10), but I perfected Anatomy and Physiology, Laboratory Medicine, Pharmacology, and Professional Issues.
hehehe
My reward to myself: SLEEP.