Got this from Saint's blog and it looked fun ^__^
• A
Are you available? [for what? hehehe]
What is your age? [29]
Astrology sign? [Taurus]
• B
Do you know anyone named Brian? [Sort of. Does a made-up character count?]
When is your Birthday? [April 25]
Ever been stung by a bee? [nope]
• C
Whats your favorite candy? [Mentos at the moment]
What color is your car? [i wish i had one]
• D
Do you daydream? [erh, yes]
What's your favorite kind of dog? [the one i can admire from afar, with no actual contact]
• E
Have you ever been in the emergency room? [nope, just the OR once]
Ever swam with sharks? [can't swim]
• F
Do you use fly swatters? [not in the technical sense, but a rolled up newspaper works!]
Is there a fan in your room? [yup]
Does the number four have any significance? [um, yellow 4, bioman? hehehe]
•G
Do you ever chew gum? [nope]
Do you like gory movies? [not really, i like to see things explode with a loud BANG!! ^__^]
•H
How are you? [okay. you?]
What's your height? [5' 4-1/2"]
What color is your hair? [black]
• I
Have you ever ice skated? [disastrously and since then, never ever]
Favorite Ice cream? [mocha flavor]
•J
Favorite Jelly bean? [the sweet kind]
Do you wear jewelry? [earrings sometimes]
• K
Have you ever flown a kite? [when i was a kid]
Do you think kangaroos are cute? [as stuffed toys, yes]
• L
Are you laid back? [i'd like to think so]
Lions or tigers? [tigers]
Do you like black licorice? [don't know that]
• M
Favorite place at the Mall? [places to sit down after going around]
Favorite movie? [Serenity at the moment]
• N
Do you prefer night or day? [night, more awake i am]
Do you have a nickname? [yes]
• O
Are you an only child? [yes, but i have 7 siblings]
Do you like the color orange? [not particularly]
•P
Do you know anyone named Penelope? [nope]
Favorite flavor of popcorn? [caramel]
• Q
Do you like game shows? [nope]
Do you collect the state quarters? [nope]
• R
Do you think you're always right? [sometimes]
Do you watch reality tv? [sometimes]
Do you prefer sun or rain? [sun]
• S
How many pair of shoes do you have? [less than 10, i think]
Do you like wearing sun glasses? [yes but i can't, have to wear prescription glasses]
•T
Time to go to sleep? [way past time]
• U
Can you ride a unicycle? [nope]
• V
Did you ever watch Veggietales? [what's that?]
• W
What's your worst habit? [overthinking then acting compulsively]
What do you want right now? [clarity. MONEY!!]
• X
Have you ever had an x-ray? [yup]
• Y
Do you like the color yellow? [what shade?]
Do you yell when you're angry? [sometimes]
• Z
Do you believe in Zodiac signs? [sometimes]
•Lasts:
-Last dream: [argh!]
-Last beverage: [hot chocolate]
-Last phone call: [sister]
-Last Text message: [brother]
-Last time you hugged: [body pillow]
-Last night: [surfing the net]
the thoughts in my head need releasing, and the world is a darker place because of it... beware the silence, my friends, for it breeds
Sunday, March 23, 2008
another day off
I got broadband!
*does happy dance*
I'd just come from the ophthalmologist -- had and still do have a sty on my right eye, already medicating it, interested in getting laser eye surgery but need a lot of moolah and I can't quite justify the procedure to myself yet -- and I went to the mall, ostensibly to go grocery shopping, seeing as it was nearing Holy Week and I allegedly had no food in the fridge. I always have food in the ref
*oh gods, why can't I stop thinking about thinking about HIM?!*
it's just that the food in the ref does not qualify as "her" kind of food, but it satisfies me well enough, so it's good enough for me. I don't care if I don't have a fully stocked fridge; the food might and most likely will get spoiled, what with the way I don't eat often enough. Besides, it's not like she's living here full time, aye?
*gods and every power that be, please no!*
Anyway, on the way to the mall -- actually while in Greenbelt on the way to SM -- we stopped by the Globe office to inquire about getting a broadband connection. I guess I just got tied down to this place for a few more years, considering I am quite comfortable here. I do want to own my own place, but that'll come when it comes. I hope.
Wonder of wonders, it took all of 10 minutes and a hefty donation from my wallet -- of course my wallet, it's not like she can pay for it! -- I have broadband and they set it up two days later. Of course, two days later meant I just got out of bed and really sleep rumpled and getting ready to go to work when the two techs came in. Good news was, I wasn't late for work again, yay me!
Holy Week came and went and I had broadband.
*happy dance, trips on the not thinking about him thought*
I was supposed to be on the third shift for the Holy Week, but word from the powers that be was that the third shift was going to be moved to the second shift, meaning I was in the morning shift for three whole days.
*not thinking about him thought gets persistent*
I must admit I missed the companionship that comes with being with more of the people I work with. In the third shift, there's just six of us compared to the full house of the second shift. It was really fun, but alas, Holy Week is over and the third shift must return to the third shift, which really sucks, but I really can't do anything about it since I don't handle the scheduling and all that.
Oh yeah, our supervisor resigned last Feb and she said she'd be staying on only until the 21st of Feb, but lo and behold, it's already the 22nd of March and she's still here. I wasn't even told officially that she'd be staying on, and even now, I don't know how long she's going to be staying on, but geez louise, management already posted a memo promoting someone else as the supervisor. Can you revoke your resignation? Is that possible and legal?
Ah hell, it's eating me up inside for the past week, this really weird dream that I had that precipitated this thinking about thinking about him. I know I told Joms that I dreamt about him and a few of the particulars of the dream but not everything, coz well, I was kinda embarrassed and weirded out. I mean, why in all that's holy would I be dreaming about him? Now, I can't help myself but look at him and admittedly, he's nice to look at, but that doesn't mean anything! Joms even said she suspected he was gay! And I had the bright idea to look him up "somewhere" and the one match to his particulars that I had indicated that he's married with kids.
But I have got to get over this guy, stat!
...unless of course, he turns out to be single and without children and he's interested. It would be an interesting set-up if that ever happens. Not that it won't work. We can make it work. He seems like a nice guy anyway.
It's been a few days so I don't really have the particulars down about the dream, just general impressions, but I really want to get this down. I guess I didn't do this before coz I wanted to think about this a bit more and sort of accept that I really had a dream about him. I don't mean that he's not "dreamable", like I said he seems like a nice guy, but I don't know him and considering our work situation, I really shouldn't be dreaming about him and considering even more his probable and most likely life situation, then I really shouldn't be dreaming about him. Period.
But I did. And I'm dealing with that the best way that I can.
Damn it, I can't help but look at him and think of ways to be near him and talk to him! I hate that I'm turning into the stereotypical high school girl with a crush.
I really want to be blase about this and be more concerned about the goings on with the rest of the world, but I really can't bring myself to be too concerned about them. I'm just somewhat glad that I get to worry and obsess about something as normal as this in that it concerns me. It's selfish, but I want to be selfish. I can't keep giving of myself to others and not keep something of me for myself. That's just plain stupid, and I am learning that I don't want to be stupid, no matter how easier it is to give of myself to others and loose my own concerns in theirs so I won't have to deal with me, but then I have to come back to me sometime, and I'd rather be me for a bit before I go back to that.
I really don't understand why I always see myself as having to step back and take care of others first, make sure that they're okay. If I'm doing that for them, who's doing that for me? Why should I be more concerned about their happiness when time and time again, it's been proven that they don't give a damn about my happiness?
Going back to the dream... We were at work or some place resembling work in that most of our team was there doing something. I was talking with someone about something important that had to do with what we were doing there, but then this someone got called away and HE was suddenly there. It felt clandestine, like we weren't supposed to be there alone together. Then HE was holding my hand and asking me why I was with this other guy when HE was right there with me.
*if only, in real life...!*
I might have said something to HIM but HE kissed me before we were interrupted. Around other people there wasn't anything that we could do anyway, but he kept holding my hand and keeping close to me.
It felt like we were having an affair or something illicit, but for the life of me, I keep getting the feeling that I was the one in control of the relationship, that he was there for me at my sufferance which sounds really egoistical and I don't think it's really in me to lead someone on. I mean, me? I just can't see it!
By this time, I woke up really very surprised. This one really came from somewhere else. Before this dream, he was just a guy I work with, no more, no less. Then this dream comes and it's like a major whammy in the head and I can't stop looking at him!
Why do I feel like I had more sense in high school not to act like a high school girl with a crush? OK, so I had crushes in HS just never with this degree of... giddiness. Ack, that sounds really bad for my HS crush ^__^ Or this could just be me experiencing something forbidden even in dreams and I'm feeling giddy about that, the something dark and mysterious and forbidden... which can and will bite you in the ass. I think I overthink and overanalyze things. I just need to see things from every perspective that I can and then hold a conference with myself if I should do something. Sometimes, I feel like that. Sometimes, I feel like I have no impulse control and if I can do something and have the ability to bring whatever I want to fruition, then I damn well am doing it, like buying a new top or a pair of shoes or signing for another credit card.
It didn't help that the next night, I was thinking about not thinking about HIM and so I dreamt about him again. This time it's a bit more clear to me and easily remembered, maybe because I really am a closet romantic at heart. Of course, we were with our team at work but we were all somewhere else for vacation. I was off doing something else -- I think I was having a discussion with whoever was in charge of the place we were in, but what I would assume that responsibility I don't know seeing as I really would like to be on vacation and not be in charge of anything, which reminds me I really should curb my inclination to take leadership roles as they don't really bode well for me and for my sanity.
HE was with some of the guys and they were talking about their girlfriends and significant others. Some of the guys were married and/or in committed relationships. When HE was asked about his lovelife, he just grinned and said it was good. I guess something about his grin tipped them off as they began badgering him with questions.
Are guys really this gossipy?
I went to them, reported to our head honcho what was happening with the person I was discussing things with when he did something or said something that very much told everyone that we were together. I don't rightly remember what it was he did or said but in the end, it felt something along the lines of I should stay with that group because the people in that group were paired up in couples. I asked him why he did that, to which he replied he didn't want this other guy getting any ideas that I was available anymore.
*if only, in real life...!*
The other's reactions? Disbelief, shock, and this guy he was worried about, he looked at him in challenge and the other guy just nodded and stepped back. Now that's the guy interaction I know... Don't rightly know if that's fact or fiction anyhow.
He shrugged when I looked askance at him but I relented when he pulled me for a hug and kiss. He even convinced me to hand over the reins of our vacation to someone else so we could spend more time together.
Oh yeah, Nathan Fillion's birthday is March 27. I just thought it was... funny.
And Kurt Cobain's death anniversary is coming up, April 8.
*does happy dance*
I'd just come from the ophthalmologist -- had and still do have a sty on my right eye, already medicating it, interested in getting laser eye surgery but need a lot of moolah and I can't quite justify the procedure to myself yet -- and I went to the mall, ostensibly to go grocery shopping, seeing as it was nearing Holy Week and I allegedly had no food in the fridge. I always have food in the ref
*oh gods, why can't I stop thinking about thinking about HIM?!*
it's just that the food in the ref does not qualify as "her" kind of food, but it satisfies me well enough, so it's good enough for me. I don't care if I don't have a fully stocked fridge; the food might and most likely will get spoiled, what with the way I don't eat often enough. Besides, it's not like she's living here full time, aye?
*gods and every power that be, please no!*
Anyway, on the way to the mall -- actually while in Greenbelt on the way to SM -- we stopped by the Globe office to inquire about getting a broadband connection. I guess I just got tied down to this place for a few more years, considering I am quite comfortable here. I do want to own my own place, but that'll come when it comes. I hope.
Wonder of wonders, it took all of 10 minutes and a hefty donation from my wallet -- of course my wallet, it's not like she can pay for it! -- I have broadband and they set it up two days later. Of course, two days later meant I just got out of bed and really sleep rumpled and getting ready to go to work when the two techs came in. Good news was, I wasn't late for work again, yay me!
Holy Week came and went and I had broadband.
*happy dance, trips on the not thinking about him thought*
I was supposed to be on the third shift for the Holy Week, but word from the powers that be was that the third shift was going to be moved to the second shift, meaning I was in the morning shift for three whole days.
*not thinking about him thought gets persistent*
I must admit I missed the companionship that comes with being with more of the people I work with. In the third shift, there's just six of us compared to the full house of the second shift. It was really fun, but alas, Holy Week is over and the third shift must return to the third shift, which really sucks, but I really can't do anything about it since I don't handle the scheduling and all that.
Oh yeah, our supervisor resigned last Feb and she said she'd be staying on only until the 21st of Feb, but lo and behold, it's already the 22nd of March and she's still here. I wasn't even told officially that she'd be staying on, and even now, I don't know how long she's going to be staying on, but geez louise, management already posted a memo promoting someone else as the supervisor. Can you revoke your resignation? Is that possible and legal?
Ah hell, it's eating me up inside for the past week, this really weird dream that I had that precipitated this thinking about thinking about him. I know I told Joms that I dreamt about him and a few of the particulars of the dream but not everything, coz well, I was kinda embarrassed and weirded out. I mean, why in all that's holy would I be dreaming about him? Now, I can't help myself but look at him and admittedly, he's nice to look at, but that doesn't mean anything! Joms even said she suspected he was gay! And I had the bright idea to look him up "somewhere" and the one match to his particulars that I had indicated that he's married with kids.
But I have got to get over this guy, stat!
...unless of course, he turns out to be single and without children and he's interested. It would be an interesting set-up if that ever happens. Not that it won't work. We can make it work. He seems like a nice guy anyway.
It's been a few days so I don't really have the particulars down about the dream, just general impressions, but I really want to get this down. I guess I didn't do this before coz I wanted to think about this a bit more and sort of accept that I really had a dream about him. I don't mean that he's not "dreamable", like I said he seems like a nice guy, but I don't know him and considering our work situation, I really shouldn't be dreaming about him and considering even more his probable and most likely life situation, then I really shouldn't be dreaming about him. Period.
But I did. And I'm dealing with that the best way that I can.
Damn it, I can't help but look at him and think of ways to be near him and talk to him! I hate that I'm turning into the stereotypical high school girl with a crush.
I really want to be blase about this and be more concerned about the goings on with the rest of the world, but I really can't bring myself to be too concerned about them. I'm just somewhat glad that I get to worry and obsess about something as normal as this in that it concerns me. It's selfish, but I want to be selfish. I can't keep giving of myself to others and not keep something of me for myself. That's just plain stupid, and I am learning that I don't want to be stupid, no matter how easier it is to give of myself to others and loose my own concerns in theirs so I won't have to deal with me, but then I have to come back to me sometime, and I'd rather be me for a bit before I go back to that.
I really don't understand why I always see myself as having to step back and take care of others first, make sure that they're okay. If I'm doing that for them, who's doing that for me? Why should I be more concerned about their happiness when time and time again, it's been proven that they don't give a damn about my happiness?
Going back to the dream... We were at work or some place resembling work in that most of our team was there doing something. I was talking with someone about something important that had to do with what we were doing there, but then this someone got called away and HE was suddenly there. It felt clandestine, like we weren't supposed to be there alone together. Then HE was holding my hand and asking me why I was with this other guy when HE was right there with me.
*if only, in real life...!*
I might have said something to HIM but HE kissed me before we were interrupted. Around other people there wasn't anything that we could do anyway, but he kept holding my hand and keeping close to me.
It felt like we were having an affair or something illicit, but for the life of me, I keep getting the feeling that I was the one in control of the relationship, that he was there for me at my sufferance which sounds really egoistical and I don't think it's really in me to lead someone on. I mean, me? I just can't see it!
By this time, I woke up really very surprised. This one really came from somewhere else. Before this dream, he was just a guy I work with, no more, no less. Then this dream comes and it's like a major whammy in the head and I can't stop looking at him!
Why do I feel like I had more sense in high school not to act like a high school girl with a crush? OK, so I had crushes in HS just never with this degree of... giddiness. Ack, that sounds really bad for my HS crush ^__^ Or this could just be me experiencing something forbidden even in dreams and I'm feeling giddy about that, the something dark and mysterious and forbidden... which can and will bite you in the ass. I think I overthink and overanalyze things. I just need to see things from every perspective that I can and then hold a conference with myself if I should do something. Sometimes, I feel like that. Sometimes, I feel like I have no impulse control and if I can do something and have the ability to bring whatever I want to fruition, then I damn well am doing it, like buying a new top or a pair of shoes or signing for another credit card.
It didn't help that the next night, I was thinking about not thinking about HIM and so I dreamt about him again. This time it's a bit more clear to me and easily remembered, maybe because I really am a closet romantic at heart. Of course, we were with our team at work but we were all somewhere else for vacation. I was off doing something else -- I think I was having a discussion with whoever was in charge of the place we were in, but what I would assume that responsibility I don't know seeing as I really would like to be on vacation and not be in charge of anything, which reminds me I really should curb my inclination to take leadership roles as they don't really bode well for me and for my sanity.
HE was with some of the guys and they were talking about their girlfriends and significant others. Some of the guys were married and/or in committed relationships. When HE was asked about his lovelife, he just grinned and said it was good. I guess something about his grin tipped them off as they began badgering him with questions.
Are guys really this gossipy?
I went to them, reported to our head honcho what was happening with the person I was discussing things with when he did something or said something that very much told everyone that we were together. I don't rightly remember what it was he did or said but in the end, it felt something along the lines of I should stay with that group because the people in that group were paired up in couples. I asked him why he did that, to which he replied he didn't want this other guy getting any ideas that I was available anymore.
*if only, in real life...!*
The other's reactions? Disbelief, shock, and this guy he was worried about, he looked at him in challenge and the other guy just nodded and stepped back. Now that's the guy interaction I know... Don't rightly know if that's fact or fiction anyhow.
He shrugged when I looked askance at him but I relented when he pulled me for a hug and kiss. He even convinced me to hand over the reins of our vacation to someone else so we could spend more time together.
Oh yeah, Nathan Fillion's birthday is March 27. I just thought it was... funny.
And Kurt Cobain's death anniversary is coming up, April 8.