Megalomaniac
Incubus
I hear you on the radio
You permeate my screen, its' unkind but
If I met you in a scissor fight
I'd cut off both your wings on principle alone
On principle alone
Hey megalomaniac
You're not Jesus
Yeah, you're no fucking Elvis
Special, as you know yourself, maniac
Step down
Step down
If I were your appendages
I'd hold open your eyes
So you would see
That all of us are heaven sent
There was never meant to be only one
To be only one
Hey megalomaniac
You're not Jesus
Yeah, you're no fucking Elvis
Special, as you know yourself, maniac
Step down
Step down
Yeah
You're no Jesus
You're not Elvis
...
You're no answer
Hey megalomaniac
You're not Jesus
Yeah, you're no fucking Elvis
Special, as you know yourself, maniac
Step down
"In The Shadows"
THE RASMUS
No sleep
No sleep untill I am done with finding the answer
Wont stop
Wont stop before I find a cure for this cancer
Sometimes
I feel I going down and so disconnected
Somehow
I know that I am haunted to be wanted
I been watching
I been waiting
In the shadows all my time
I been searching
I been living
For tomorrows all my life
In the shadows
In the shadows
They say
That i must learn to kill before i can feel safe
But I
I rather kill myself then turn into their slave
Sometimes
I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow
I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder
I been watching
I been waiting
In the shadows all my time
I been searching
I been living
For tomorrows all my life
Lately I been walking walking in circles, watching waiting for something
Feel me touch me feel me, come take me higher
I been watching
I been waiting
In the shadows all my time
I been searching
I been living
For tomorrows all my life
I been watching
I been waiting
I been searching
I been living for tomorrows
In the shadows
In the shadows
I've been waiting
Swing, Swing
The All American Rejects
Days swiftly come and go.
I'm dreaming of her
She's seeing other guys
Emotions they stir
The sun is gone.
The nights are long
And I am left while the tears fall.
Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find someone new
Swing, Swing, Swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again.
Wish cast into the sky
I'm moving on
Sweet beginnings do arise
She knows I was wrong
The notes are old,
They bend, they fold
and so do I to a new love.
Bury me
(you thought your problems were gone)
Carry me
(away. away, away...)
okay, so that's that. I don't want to say anything more.
Argh! Guys! I wanna talk to you guys! Argh!
Problems!
the thoughts in my head need releasing, and the world is a darker place because of it... beware the silence, my friends, for it breeds
Monday, January 26, 2004
Damn.
hehehe
Something I wanna put here but I can't as I'm not too sure if this screen I'm using is not being "saved" for later viewing of the all poweful company hehehe
Big Brother symptoms, I wonder?
heck, it's all there in black and white anyway.
So I guess I'll have to do this the old fashioned way of paper and pen. When I have the time.
hehehe
Something I wanna put here but I can't as I'm not too sure if this screen I'm using is not being "saved" for later viewing of the all poweful company hehehe
Big Brother symptoms, I wonder?
heck, it's all there in black and white anyway.
So I guess I'll have to do this the old fashioned way of paper and pen. When I have the time.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Wai! Final Exam over!!
(Un)fortunately, depending on your point of view, I passed the damned thing. Well, alright, no need to bite my head off...! That's just the way I feel about the thing! Sheesh!
This is a very... I don't know, intimidating job? Coz we're not just directory assistance and what not -- they have it easy as they can actually have cheat sheets, and some can even have a buddy to pair up with to help them out during the whole training thing -- AND WE DON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT!!
It can suck to be in financial services.
*sigh* I guess I have to see how this is when I really go live, like not in training anymore. Can anyone find where my stomach went to? I think it left my body with all the wriggling it's doing, and the damned bats flying about there in nerves.
So what else is new?
I want to meet this Alan Canlas.
I want to move to somewhere near the office.
Damn I forgot to call McDo about the interview. If I'm gonna go down in this industry, I might as well look into another industry. Damn. I hope to the high heavens that they can reschedule me for next week...!
Sleep deprived.
Tired.
Nervous.
Apprehensive.
And I'm listening to Britney Spears over at launch.yahoo.com
Go figure.
(Un)fortunately, depending on your point of view, I passed the damned thing. Well, alright, no need to bite my head off...! That's just the way I feel about the thing! Sheesh!
This is a very... I don't know, intimidating job? Coz we're not just directory assistance and what not -- they have it easy as they can actually have cheat sheets, and some can even have a buddy to pair up with to help them out during the whole training thing -- AND WE DON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT!!
It can suck to be in financial services.
*sigh* I guess I have to see how this is when I really go live, like not in training anymore. Can anyone find where my stomach went to? I think it left my body with all the wriggling it's doing, and the damned bats flying about there in nerves.
So what else is new?
I want to meet this Alan Canlas.
I want to move to somewhere near the office.
Damn I forgot to call McDo about the interview. If I'm gonna go down in this industry, I might as well look into another industry. Damn. I hope to the high heavens that they can reschedule me for next week...!
Sleep deprived.
Tired.
Nervous.
Apprehensive.
And I'm listening to Britney Spears over at launch.yahoo.com
Go figure.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Wai!! Final Exam!! I think I failed the darned thing, and I forgot to call McDo to reset my interview! Argh! Sleep deprivation? Think McDo will reconsider me if I went to their Head Office immediately after I find out that I failed the Final Exam and interview me then and there?
Hope so...
I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed!
Continue pasting until it's true.
Hope so...
I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed! I can't be depressed!
Continue pasting until it's true.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
hehehe I have a best friend in the workplace ^__^;; and it ain't in the 'best friend' sense that I consider Feifu, Saint, and Seika in.
So man, I am just going to smile and grin and bear it out with the m**********r and grin some more.
BWAHAHAHA and I had no freaking idea I was ticked off until my seatmate mentioned that I was blogging. Ain't life grand? I could actually post what ticked me off, but there are people behind me and they could bloody well read this. It's quite different if they read it as I post it rather than if they read it at the blog itself. Not that they know my blog address, but heck, that's what it's about.
I'm probably sleeping -- heck, there's no probably about it, I am -- sleeping in the sleep room in the other building. I just hope I can get a bed immediately. And damned if I think I'm going to take an over-time later on. I'll be off at around twelve midnight so... *sigh* Then I want to get the medical thing over and done with before I tackle getting my NBI clearance.
Damn, the sounds here.... Wish you guys could hear it in here...
I miss Genrou's mp3 collection. I miss Gackt. I miss L'arc en Ciel. I miss Ayatsuri Sakon. I miss Glay. I even miss Morning Musume! And Utada Hikaru and Ayumi Hamazaki. I want to hear Sophia again -- I miss watching their video of Little Red Riding Hood bloodying up the Big Bad Wolf.
So man, I am just going to smile and grin and bear it out with the m**********r and grin some more.
BWAHAHAHA and I had no freaking idea I was ticked off until my seatmate mentioned that I was blogging. Ain't life grand? I could actually post what ticked me off, but there are people behind me and they could bloody well read this. It's quite different if they read it as I post it rather than if they read it at the blog itself. Not that they know my blog address, but heck, that's what it's about.
I'm probably sleeping -- heck, there's no probably about it, I am -- sleeping in the sleep room in the other building. I just hope I can get a bed immediately. And damned if I think I'm going to take an over-time later on. I'll be off at around twelve midnight so... *sigh* Then I want to get the medical thing over and done with before I tackle getting my NBI clearance.
Damn, the sounds here.... Wish you guys could hear it in here...
I miss Genrou's mp3 collection. I miss Gackt. I miss L'arc en Ciel. I miss Ayatsuri Sakon. I miss Glay. I even miss Morning Musume! And Utada Hikaru and Ayumi Hamazaki. I want to hear Sophia again -- I miss watching their video of Little Red Riding Hood bloodying up the Big Bad Wolf.
Monday, January 19, 2004
I'm at work and I'm updating my blog. hehehe Well, it's not oficially my call time -- which is 3pm -- so it's alright.
People, how are you?
Feifu's feeling... nostalgic? And Seika, I am not going to hang her because of that, just because I am feeling nostalgic as well. It's... difficult to get used to this new dynamic that is my life. For the past two years, all I've done is lay about the house and nothing much. Now, I have a bloodys schedule to follow and it's taking my body quite a while to adjust.
Three o'clock is approaching and I have to go.
Bye.
People, how are you?
Feifu's feeling... nostalgic? And Seika, I am not going to hang her because of that, just because I am feeling nostalgic as well. It's... difficult to get used to this new dynamic that is my life. For the past two years, all I've done is lay about the house and nothing much. Now, I have a bloodys schedule to follow and it's taking my body quite a while to adjust.
Three o'clock is approaching and I have to go.
Bye.
Sunday, January 18, 2004
*sigh*
*really heavy sigh*
*deep breath*
*sigh*
I'm technically working now, like I have a job.
I know, it's positively scary. Well, I'm in training right now so all I've done is sit in classes and imbibe whatever knowledge our facilitators are giving us.
It's been a hectic week:
Friday: walk-in applicant. primary interview. exam.
Saturday: job offer. contract signing.
Monday: start training.
Can anyone say Fast?
But it's cool. It's intimidating to say the least, especially for someone who hasn't been doing much of anything for the past couple of years except laze about in the house and write.
Speaking of writing... Illusion will have to be put on hold. At least until I can get a proper handle on what my schedule is going to be for the duration of my probationary period.
I was actually thinking of as soon as I don't feel like I could sleep for a month, then I'll think of sitting in front of the PC and write Illusion again. I am just thankful that Mildred hasn't been bugging me to write her part right now. For that matter, James my dear is being a very good boy and keeping quiet.
Did I mention that the computer in the house went kaput again?
Yup, so all my files went kaput as well. I can sympathize with you Feifu! Terrible. But good thing I uploaded my back-up files in my briefcase.
I actually am home right now, right as I am writing this. I suppose I could have used the PC at the office but I don't know, it just doesn't feel right. I mean, I can browse whatever sites I usually browse there and check my emails but writing out my thoughts in my blog... it's just not my thing. I'll wait until I can get somewhere a bit more... not officey, like at home or at a Net cafe or something.
So far, it's been good. And tiring. I won't deny that. It's a bloody hassle having to commute! I want to have a place near the work place, so much more convenient than commuting, I tell you. Especially when my work really starts, and it's at graveyard!
hehehe reminds me of Anna hehehe ^__^;; wish I had a James.
So Feifu, how's James-like doing? hehehe And then you suddenly find out that he's reading your blog ^__^;; oh my...
Saint, I'm game to meet the guy. Of course I'm game! You recommended him! hehehe and it helps that you say he looks like Johnny Depp. I'm kinda curious though as to why you said that we'll get along better.
But the thing is, Saint, that I don't know when I can meet with him, and you for that matter; my schedule's a bit wacky at the moment. As soon as it settles down, I'll let you know.
And Saint, does this mean we won't be roommates any time soon? *pout*
Tin, I'm sorry I couldn't go with you on Sunday to see a movie ^__^;; I suddenly decided to go home. I really need some place to rest where I know I can really sleep in and just be. We'll watch a movie soon, I promise. And don't forget about that song for David you said you'll write a story for, alright? As long as you study and handle your thesis first, of course.
Who else reads my blog anyway?
To whom it may concern, I hope you have a great time in my blog. And don't hesitate to email me your comments.
See yah!
*really heavy sigh*
*deep breath*
*sigh*
I'm technically working now, like I have a job.
I know, it's positively scary. Well, I'm in training right now so all I've done is sit in classes and imbibe whatever knowledge our facilitators are giving us.
It's been a hectic week:
Friday: walk-in applicant. primary interview. exam.
Saturday: job offer. contract signing.
Monday: start training.
Can anyone say Fast?
But it's cool. It's intimidating to say the least, especially for someone who hasn't been doing much of anything for the past couple of years except laze about in the house and write.
Speaking of writing... Illusion will have to be put on hold. At least until I can get a proper handle on what my schedule is going to be for the duration of my probationary period.
I was actually thinking of as soon as I don't feel like I could sleep for a month, then I'll think of sitting in front of the PC and write Illusion again. I am just thankful that Mildred hasn't been bugging me to write her part right now. For that matter, James my dear is being a very good boy and keeping quiet.
Did I mention that the computer in the house went kaput again?
Yup, so all my files went kaput as well. I can sympathize with you Feifu! Terrible. But good thing I uploaded my back-up files in my briefcase.
I actually am home right now, right as I am writing this. I suppose I could have used the PC at the office but I don't know, it just doesn't feel right. I mean, I can browse whatever sites I usually browse there and check my emails but writing out my thoughts in my blog... it's just not my thing. I'll wait until I can get somewhere a bit more... not officey, like at home or at a Net cafe or something.
So far, it's been good. And tiring. I won't deny that. It's a bloody hassle having to commute! I want to have a place near the work place, so much more convenient than commuting, I tell you. Especially when my work really starts, and it's at graveyard!
hehehe reminds me of Anna hehehe ^__^;; wish I had a James.
So Feifu, how's James-like doing? hehehe And then you suddenly find out that he's reading your blog ^__^;; oh my...
Saint, I'm game to meet the guy. Of course I'm game! You recommended him! hehehe and it helps that you say he looks like Johnny Depp. I'm kinda curious though as to why you said that we'll get along better.
But the thing is, Saint, that I don't know when I can meet with him, and you for that matter; my schedule's a bit wacky at the moment. As soon as it settles down, I'll let you know.
And Saint, does this mean we won't be roommates any time soon? *pout*
Tin, I'm sorry I couldn't go with you on Sunday to see a movie ^__^;; I suddenly decided to go home. I really need some place to rest where I know I can really sleep in and just be. We'll watch a movie soon, I promise. And don't forget about that song for David you said you'll write a story for, alright? As long as you study and handle your thesis first, of course.
Who else reads my blog anyway?
To whom it may concern, I hope you have a great time in my blog. And don't hesitate to email me your comments.
See yah!
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Oh dear God, I am obsessing about my nail again! The middle one of my left hand, the one that I got too eager in cleaning, in getting that little bit of dirt from. So now it's kinda... erh... deep and it's bloody obvious that something's wrong about it.
Damn. Antony Bourdain. At least, that's how I think his name is spelled. The TV cook, host, published author. He's kinda cute. Yeah he's old and a cynic and has a potty mouth. He's honest about what he wants and what he doesn't like.
Argh, my nail, my nail, my nail...!
How do I get it back to normal?! Argh, not bloody likely anymore, coz the nail itself if kinda loosened from the skin. It is so sad that this particular topic has been on my mind for the past few days since I noticed it again. I hate this OC side, but damn it, I can't stop thinking about it!
At the very least, now I'm not thinking of offing myself in the near future...
Argh, my nail, my nail, my nail...!
I saw bits of the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban movie trailer. hehehe ^_______^ so happy! Wai! Daniel Radcliffe!
I can be appeased so easily...
Hmm...
Damn, and my happy mood is gone. Just because I have my back turned on the television DOES NOT mean that I am not paying attention to the bloody show! It's a bloody commercial! Of course I'm not watching! I'm waiting for Antony Bourdain to appear!
Okay, where was I?
Right. Think Daniel Radcliffe and think happy thoughts and I'm happy.
I miss writing James and Anna, but I can't just ignore my other characters. I have to write from the others' perspective, because that's the way the Illusion is made. That's the way I made Illusion, so I have to stick with it. I guess I kinda got spoiled when I wrote Chapter 12 and the I'll Be songfics, coz they're written from their perspective.
I'm getting ready to delve into Chapter 13 and 14 and the rest right now; I have to psych myself up to write them, coz there are a lot of conflicts coming up. I can't kid myself anymore into thinking that Illusion is just a short story with chapters; it's a novel with chapters.
Same difference, right?
*shakes head* I'm doomed.
Deep fried cheesecake? Deep fried cheese curds?
...I gotta enjoy the writing process again...
Oh yeah, I cut my left ring finger on a rather sharp object -- no, it's not a knife -- but rather the ragged edge of the handle of my closet; it was broken off. It's at the side, almost cutting through the nail.
And talking about nail/hand injuries, the thumb of my left hand was the first casualty... aside from the middle finger nail but I think I've exhausted that topic. Anyway, that thing/guard at the side of your nail -- is than even the cuticle? -- anyway, there was a bit hanging off and when I stuck my hand into my pocket, it snagged and tore. Man did that hurt! It also bled but not too much. It freaking hurt though.
Damn. Antony Bourdain. At least, that's how I think his name is spelled. The TV cook, host, published author. He's kinda cute. Yeah he's old and a cynic and has a potty mouth. He's honest about what he wants and what he doesn't like.
Argh, my nail, my nail, my nail...!
How do I get it back to normal?! Argh, not bloody likely anymore, coz the nail itself if kinda loosened from the skin. It is so sad that this particular topic has been on my mind for the past few days since I noticed it again. I hate this OC side, but damn it, I can't stop thinking about it!
At the very least, now I'm not thinking of offing myself in the near future...
Argh, my nail, my nail, my nail...!
I saw bits of the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban movie trailer. hehehe ^_______^ so happy! Wai! Daniel Radcliffe!
I can be appeased so easily...
Hmm...
Damn, and my happy mood is gone. Just because I have my back turned on the television DOES NOT mean that I am not paying attention to the bloody show! It's a bloody commercial! Of course I'm not watching! I'm waiting for Antony Bourdain to appear!
Okay, where was I?
Right. Think Daniel Radcliffe and think happy thoughts and I'm happy.
I miss writing James and Anna, but I can't just ignore my other characters. I have to write from the others' perspective, because that's the way the Illusion is made. That's the way I made Illusion, so I have to stick with it. I guess I kinda got spoiled when I wrote Chapter 12 and the I'll Be songfics, coz they're written from their perspective.
I'm getting ready to delve into Chapter 13 and 14 and the rest right now; I have to psych myself up to write them, coz there are a lot of conflicts coming up. I can't kid myself anymore into thinking that Illusion is just a short story with chapters; it's a novel with chapters.
Same difference, right?
*shakes head* I'm doomed.
Deep fried cheesecake? Deep fried cheese curds?
...I gotta enjoy the writing process again...
Oh yeah, I cut my left ring finger on a rather sharp object -- no, it's not a knife -- but rather the ragged edge of the handle of my closet; it was broken off. It's at the side, almost cutting through the nail.
And talking about nail/hand injuries, the thumb of my left hand was the first casualty... aside from the middle finger nail but I think I've exhausted that topic. Anyway, that thing/guard at the side of your nail -- is than even the cuticle? -- anyway, there was a bit hanging off and when I stuck my hand into my pocket, it snagged and tore. Man did that hurt! It also bled but not too much. It freaking hurt though.